Archive for the ‘Disappointment’ Category

Good evening and welcome to a new era in hypothetical filmmaking. I am your host, Ben Pobjie, and this blog is here to help.

How often do you go to the movies full of anticipation at the coming entertainment treat, only to walk out of the cinema complex and immediately commit suicide? Not often, perhaps, but more often than you’d like? I thought so. The reason for this is the remarkably poor quality of modern moviemaking. Gone is the Golden Age of Hollywood, gone the giants – Tyrone Power, Jessie Matthews, Keenan Wynn – who bestrode our imaginations like Leviathan.

Take the recent film “Avatar”, for example, by well-known “director”, James “Cameron”. Perhaps I am alone, but I felt woefully let down by this film. Not only was the dialogue unrealistic, the plot incoherent and the helicopters aerodynamically sub-optimal, the special effects were woeful. Presumably budget constraints were responsible for this, but I think from a major Hollywood blockbuster we can expect more than miserly corner-cutting. Surely, in post-production, someone must have noticed that most of the major characters were coming out blue?

Whose fault was it? Who knows? Perhaps it was the editor, perhaps it was the CG team, perhaps it was poor lighting, but it didn’t stop there. Not only did the post snafu result in a most unrealistic blue tinge to characters’ skins, some of them appeared ridiculously large – about nine feet tall, which looked especially ridiculous when they stood next to other characters who remained normal size. Why didn’t Cameron pick up the inconsistency and demand all characters be made the same size? And at one point I saw a dog with six legs. Come on!

And it’s this kind of shoddy make-do attitude that I am confronting with this blog. This blog is for those who like to dream. To dream of a better world. Lots of blogs feature reviews of current movies on release. Some even feature reviews of famous or forgotten films of yesteryear.

Not this blog. This blog is for reviews of the movies that might be. The movies that as yet exist only in our imagination, but hopefully, with some gentle nudging of the cinematic elite, particularly from myself, will someday come to pass.

In essence, this is a blog which will be devoted to honest, hard-hitting reviews of movies that don’t yet exist, but which – God-willing, once the reviews have been disseminated – will do so in the not too distant future.

And of course, when they do, you will be well-armed, via reading this blog, with all the information you need to tell you which of them are likely to take your fancy.

Think of it as a window and a guide to the future. Your future. At the movies.

Grab your popcorn and settle in. It’s time to have a sneak-peek at the must-see movie events of who-knows-when?


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